DARK Hermione
by BellaCullen666
Summary: A comedy were Hermione is Voldemorts wife and gets revenge on Harry when he kills him. Please R&R, Hope you like it. First Fic


Final battle. Hogwarts. Harry has just killed Voldemort.

HARRY: I've killed him. We've won.

ORDER MEMBERS: YAY!

HERMIONE: I am going to kill you Harry!

HARRY: Why?

HERMIONE: Because you killed Voldemort.

HARRY: And?

HERMIONE: He was my husband!

HARRY: Huh?...Oh My Merlin

RON: I didn't know you were married Hermione.

HERMIONE: It was a secret

GINNY: So are you Good or Evil?

HERMIONE: Evil. And I'm gonna kill you all.

**(Hermione disappears with the Death Eaters)**

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Far away. Unknown location. Throne Room

HERMIONE: We are gonna kill them all!

RANDOM DEATH EATER: How are we gonna kill them, My Lady?

HERMIONE: I don't know… We will seduce the Order members onto our side.

LUCIUS: How? With money or sex?

HERMIONE: Both

SEVERUS: I take money

LUCIUS: I take sex

HERMIONE: Okay. Just do it

**(Death Eaters go. Hermione goes to seduce Remus)**

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Remus house in London. Scene lets in his room.

HERMIONE: Hi Remus

REMUS: Hi Hermione. Your evil now aren't you?

HERMIONE: Yes. Join me!

REMUS: I don't know.

HERMIONE: (Puppy dog eyes) Please. Pretty Please.

REMUS: Okay. What do I do?

HERMIONE: (hands Remus some paper) Go there and wait for me

REMUS: Bye

**(Remus goes to secret location. Hermione goes to seduce Sirius)**

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Some muggle bar in the countryside. 

**(Sirius is sitting at the bar drinking whiskey, Hermione sits next to him) **

HERMIONE: Sirius. How are ya?

SIRIUS: Good. You?

HERMIONE: Same. Wanna join the dark side?

SIRIUS: Why not. Yeah I'll join

HERMIONE: (hands a slip of paper over to Sirius) Go there and wait for me

SIRIUS: see ya

**(Sirius goes to Secret Location. Hermione goes to seduce Charlie)**

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The Borrow. Charlie's bedroom.

**(Charlie is sitting on the bed reading a book on mythological dragons.) **

HERMIONE: Hi Char

CHARLIE: Hi Mya

HERMIONE: Doing anything at the moment?

CHARLIE: No. Why?

HERMIONE: Join the Dark side.

CHARLIE: Do they have cookies?

HERMIONE: Yes. Lots and Lots of cookies.

CHARLIE: Okay then

HERMIONE: (hands some paper to Charlie) Go there and wait for me.

**(Charlie goes to secret location. Bill walks into room and hugs Hermione when he sees her)**

BILL: Hi Mya.

HERMIONE: Hi Bill

BILL: Your on the dark side now, aren't you?

HERMIONE: Yeah

BILL: Can I join. The Light sides boring

HERMIONE: Yeah. (Gives paper) Wait for me here

BILL: Thanks. And see ya later

**(Bill goes to secret location. Hermione goes to seduce Fred and George)**

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Still Borrow. Fred and George's room.

**(Fred and George are sitting on their beds playing on their X-BOX 360) **

HERMIONE: Hi George. Hi Fred

FRED: HI…

GEORGE: Mya. What…

FRED: Ya…

GEORGE: Up…

FRED: To?

HERMIONE: Planning to Kill Harry. You?

FRED: Same

HERMIONE: Wanna join the dark side?

GEORGE: Yeah

HERMIONE: (slips paper over to Fred and George) Go there. Don' blow up anything.

GEORGE: Mya…

FRED: Would…

GEORGE: Ever…

FRED Do…

GEOGE: Anything…

FRED: Like…

GEORGE: That?

HERMIONE: YES!

FRED: Fare…

GEORGE: Enough.

HERMIONE: Anyway. You can go now, I'll come with ya

**(Hermione, Fred and George go to secret location.)**

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Secret Location. Throne room.

**(Hermione is sitting on a throne of bones wearing a dark revealing dress. All the Order members apart from Ginny, Ron and Harry are now on the dark side)**

HERMIONE: Thank you all for coming

EVERYONE IN THE DOOR: It was okay. My Lady

HERMIONE: Now that everyone in the order is on this side now, we gotta find another way to get to Harry.

REMUS: He would get everyone in Hogwarts onto out side.

HERMIONE: Good Idea

SIRIUS: So what are we gonna do with Ron and Ginny?

HERMIONE: We kill them. Slowly

FRED: I know how to kill Ron!

HERMIONE: How?

GEORGE: We take away all his chocolate.

HERMIONE: That should work. What about Ginny?

CHARLIE: We take away all her slutty clothes and her five boyfriends – not including Harry when I say five.

HERMIONE: My Zeus she is a slut. SIX boyfriends all together at the same time, without the other knowing. Doesn't she know how to keep her legs closed?

ALL WEASLEYS IN THE ROOM: No, Unfortunately.

HERMIONE: Anyway we will do that and then hit Harry where it really hurts!

DRACO: Where?

HERMIONE: In the balls.

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Should I carry this on? Review and let me know. And there is a link to Hermione's dress on my profile


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